Not Your Ordinary Vampire

March 22nd, 2010 |

Author: Mandy

moon

Who is Jonathon8?

Glad you asked.

He’s a high school student.

He writes a simple blog about his simple un-dead life and times: http://musingsofahighschoolvampire.wordpress.com/.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/WhoisJonathon8

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Who-Is-Jonathon8/175574655917

And if it occasionally descends into tales of horror and violence – well, that’s simply a bonus, isn’t it…?

What is it like being at high school for an eternity?

Hell. No, no. Let me be perfectly clear about this. Fucking hell. The dudes who introduced compulsory secondary education deserved to be hunted down and eaten – unfortunately, even after I’d done that, they still passed the law…

We have quite a few vampire dramas that involve teenage vampires at high school. What makes you different and what do you think of them?

I don’t fucking sparkle. Or have any paedophilic lusts for underage teenage girls. And I wash. As far as the Twilight series goes, it has the dubious distinction of being the reason I began blogging – just so I could set the bloody record straight that vampires aren’t soppy emasculated ‘vegetarians’ with a penchant for body glitter rather than blood-letting. And just forget Vampire Diaries, okay? Nowdays we blog. Duh.

What do you think of the Hollywood vampire compared to your existence?

At least some of them have a bit of class, and a bloodlust to stroke my violent streak. I mean, Bela Legosi, Kirsten Dunst, Selma Hayek, teen Keifer Sutherland, Chris Sarandon from Fright Night, Kate Beckinsale in leather and Wesley Snipes (though I haven’t really forgiven him for that run of really shit action films) are bloody hot – no denying, and pun intended. And beyond Hollywood, Let the Right One In, Shadow of the Vampire and Forever Knight totally know their shit.

What in your opinion sucks?

Other than the above-mentioned ‘teenage vampires at school’ fictions?

People who say OMG. Seriously – wtf?…

What is the greatest thing about existing for an eternity?

Being able to spell properly and write a grammatically-correct sentence. And say "Fuck". Quite a lot.

In our lifetime (readers), what are your goals and ambitions?

Helping to solve your over-population crisis, one meal at a time. See? I’m a fucking humanitarian… Oh – and lots of readers are demanding my Musings in print, so Jonathon8: Published Author also seems to be on the horizon. Wanna reserve your copy now?

Can you tell instantly if someone you meet online or offline is a vampire?

Yes. The secret handshake gives it away everytime.

Finally, I would like you to visit my gallery and pick out a photo that represents you and the reasons why?

I walk alone and in death, where light retreats and the dark encroaches. Welcome to my world.

- Jonathon8