Archive for the ‘Vampire’ Category

If you like vampires and blood, you will enjoy my latest collection of greeting cards and prints over at Zazzle.

The Bloody Vampire is my very own self portrait.  What a striking vampire I am!

You can add your own text to all products and make them into a special gift for your vampire or Gothic friend.  Simply click on the image below for the product you’re interested in.

Bloody Vampire Business Card

Double sided business card

Bloody Vampire Birthday Card

Bloody Vampire Thank You Card

Bloody Vampire Blank Greeting Card

This article is in response to the wonderful article written by the talented @Rubytombstone who tells us why she likes ZOMBIES so much.

After reading @Rubytombstone’s replies, she almost had me becoming a fan of zombies, but alas, vampires do it for me.

Therefore prior to reading my article below, please take the time to read ‘Why Zombie?’ and feel free to comment.

Vampires Always Win

Errr no they don’t always win, but the good vampires do keep coming back with action that BITES.

Take for example Hammer Horror’s Dracula.  How many times did he return from the grave to seduce all those beautiful buxom women with his tantalising gaze?  How many times was he staked?

Lestat came back from the dead in ‘Interview with the Vampire’. Damn he was one sexy vampire!

What will the zombie race do when there are no human survivors left?

Zombies will make themselves extinct once there are no more brains left to consume.  They are not intelligent enough to figure out their own destruction.

Vampires Never Give Up

True, a zombie never gives up as it just keeps on stumbling forward with its chin hanging near the deck and drooling like a teething baby. Very charismatic, NOT!

Vampires don’t give up either.  They require the life-force of humanity to survive and note that I don’t mention blood to survive.  Vampires don’t rely on just one thing to survive like a zombie does.

Vampires Are Everywhere

All over the world vampires are stalking their prey whilst being intelligent enough to blend in with society.  You can’t tell if someone is a vampire or not, but you sure can tell when a foul mouthed rotting corpse is staggering in your direction.

Vampires are intelligent enough to know that there is no future for survival in turning every human into a vampire.  Vampires are predatory creatures and like to be selective with their prey.

Vampires Are Individuals

Vampires are most definitely individuals just like the human race.  Zombies look different, but their personalities are the same.

Vampires Are Inherently Funny

Zombies win hands down due to their hilarious antics.  I love watching a mass zombie shuffle prior to some walking into a situation where they ultimately die in a stupid way.

If I want a laugh, I’ll watch a zombie movie.  If I want to be terrified or mesmerised, I’ll watch a vampire movie.

Vampires Are Gruesome

Both vampires and zombies are gruesome in their own ways.

Vampires are cunning creatures and their mental torturous techniques are pretty gruesome.  Vampires are responsible for haunting people and sending them crazy.  Look at poor Renfield for example!

Not all vampires resemble Human Beings, take Mr Barlow for example from Salem’s Lot.  I know that I’d rather face a stupid rotting zombie than face the hideous blue face of Barlow with those yellow eyes.  Can you imagine that creature hissing in your face prior to slashing your throat?

I’d rather be a vampire than a zombie any day!  WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Who is Jonathon8?

Glad you asked.

He’s a high school student.

He writes a simple blog about his simple un-dead life and times: http://musingsofahighschoolvampire.wordpress.com/.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/WhoisJonathon8

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Who-Is-Jonathon8/175574655917

And if it occasionally descends into tales of horror and violence – well, that’s simply a bonus, isn’t it…?

What is it like being at high school for an eternity?

Hell.   No, no.   Let me be perfectly clear about this.   Fucking hell.   The dudes who introduced compulsory secondary education deserved to be hunted down and eaten – unfortunately, even after I’d done that, they still passed the law…

We have quite a few vampire dramas that involve teenage vampires at high school.  What makes you different and what do you think of them?

I don’t fucking sparkle.   Or have any paedophilic lusts for underage teenage girls.   And I wash.   As far as the Twilight series goes, it has the dubious distinction of being the reason I began blogging – just so I could set the bloody record straight that vampires aren’t soppy emasculated ‘vegetarians’ with a penchant for body glitter rather than blood-letting.   And just forget Vampire Diaries, okay?   Nowdays we blog.   Duh.

What do you think of the Hollywood vampire compared to your existence?

At least some of them have a bit of class, and a bloodlust to stroke my violent streak.   I mean, Bela Legosi, Kirsten Dunst, Selma Hayek, teen Keifer Sutherland, Chris Sarandon from Fright Night, Kate Beckinsale in leather and Wesley Snipes (though I haven’t really forgiven him for that run of really shit action films) are bloody hot – no denying, and pun intended.   And beyond Hollywood, Let the Right One In, Shadow of the Vampire and Forever Knight totally know their shit.

What in your opinion sucks?

Other than the above-mentioned ‘teenage vampires at school’ fictions?

People who say OMG.   Seriously – wtf?…

What is the greatest thing about existing for an eternity?

Being able to spell properly and write a grammatically-correct sentence.   And say "Fuck".   Quite a lot.

In our lifetime (readers), what are your goals and ambitions?

Helping to solve your over-population crisis, one meal at a time.   See?   I’m a fucking humanitarian…   Oh – and lots of readers are demanding my Musings in print, so Jonathon8: Published Author also seems to be on the horizon.   Wanna reserve your copy now?

Can you tell instantly if someone you meet online or offline is a vampire?

Yes.   The secret handshake gives it away everytime.

Finally, I would like you to visit my gallery and pick out a photo that represents you and the reasons why?

I walk alone and in death, where light retreats and the dark encroaches.   Welcome to my world.

- Jonathon8

‘The Vampire’ movie poster is my personal tribute to Hammer Horror.

If you don’t know by now, I’m a huge fan of Dracula and the vampire films of Hammer Horror.  My favourite Hammer Horror films include: -

Twins of Evil

Lust for a Vampire

Any Dracula film with Christopher Lee.

The poster above features a dark portrait of my boyfriend Luke (@1uk3 on Twitter) and some of my graveyard photography, which can be seen by clicking here to visit my Graveyard & Cemeteries galleries.

If you like the poster, you can purchase it on Zazzle by clicking here.  Other ‘B’ movie style posters featuring my dark portraits are also available.

Greeting card version is also available by clicking here.

Check out this fangtastic Vampire Valentine Card from Amanda Norman Photography.

I’ll let you into a little secret, the Vampire Valentine card below is me.  The other two portraits are of my daughter Kerry.

Isn’t this the perfect Valentine Card for your vampire lover?

Not into vampires, but like Goth girls?

There are two other designs that feature Gothic girls that will satisfy your lust.  All images are also available on mugs, which make perfect gifts.

To purchase your vampire or Gothic Valentine Cards,

visit the Gothic Valentine store by clicking here