Happy New Year to all of you who venture into my domain and follow my latest updates. It’s that time of year, where we reflect on the past and how we will better ourselves for the year ahead and if you follow my latest news on my HORROR PHOTO Facebook page, you maybe aware of my struggle with anxiety and how I’m performing tarot readings. This post is about the possibility of fate and my new journey for the year ahead aided by using the tarot as self therapy.
2017 presented me with suffering a mental health issue, namely General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). It’s a continual struggle and I will admit to not liking CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) that I’m currently receiving. I don’t know what triggered suffering this and perhaps I’ll never know and the need to know is no longer present. It could be a combination of my thyroid health, personal and work related stresses and the horrors of life from my past catching up with me.
Whatever it is, there is no point in dwelling on it, the main thing is to get myself to a point where I can manage it effectively so that I don’t turn into a recluse and throw away my career and friendships. It’s so much easier to avoid things, but it doesn’t help.
Tarot Readings and Self Therapy
To aid my road to personal recovery, I have delved into the Tarot as a form of self therapy and I keep a journal for every self reading I perform so that I can look back on it. It’s a form of self therapy as the meaning of the cards challenge me to look at the hidden side of my personality. It provides me with an insight into why my life choices and challenges take a certain path and what I should be aware of to provide myself with a better future. I know that people are skeptical about the Tarot and that they instantly think what a load of rubbish, predicting the future etc.. But it is only YOU who makes your future!
Finding out more about your hidden self, seeing beyond your reflection and beyond what you do or don’t want to see, is key to a brighter future and for this reason, I believe that this form of therapy I have chosen is positive. You maybe wondering what the Vampire tarot is?
I’ve always had a fascination with vampires and there are many choices of tarot decks out there. I read a book about real vampires years ago and it explained about a real life vampire who doesn’t know that they are a vampire. They maybe ill, but they steal the life force/positive energy off others to feed their own.
Have you ever been at a party or in a room when a certain person walks in and sucks out the fun and energy and lowers everyone’s mood?
Have you ever been with a person who drains your own energy after spending time with them?
By all means, I’m not saying vampires exist, but there is a force field of energy that we subconsciously tap into. If you’re a positive outgoing person, your life will be positive, your future will be positive, so sometimes to achieve this, it’s time to get to know ourselves, the hidden reflection of YOU, that you don’t see in the mirror.
Tarot Reading and the New Year
On New Year’s day I sat down and spent a couple of hours on a 12 card spread to have a look at possibilities and my thoughts about the year ahead. I’m not going to bore you with the full spread, but in essence, I should get out more and socialise and undertake a new journey of personal learning and self discovery. The year ahead represents major changes, one such change will cause fear, but I will cope.
For 2018, I had already decided prior to this Tarot reading, that it has to be a year of change and one where I need to get more enjoyment from my creativity and sharing it with others. I would love to become self employed doing what I enjoy, but to do that, I need new skills and I need to manage my anxiety better.
Following on from my reading, I’ve been examining aromatherapy courses to provide a special ambiance that will provide tailored and special tarot readings. I’ve even considered adding to my existing skill sets, courses about confidence, positive thinking and life coaching that I could also combine with the services I currently offer and be beneficial for my working career, that would also benefit others in the community.
The two main cards that began my reading was The Tower and the Three of Cups and I wrote the following: –
As I’m currently suffering from GAD, I am my own worst enemy and I’m becoming destructive with everything, career and relationships. Things can get worse if I’m not careful. The 3 of cups equals that three is a crowd, but not in the negative aspect. I have become withdrawn and will avoid social situations due to GAD.
Something unexpected, that I have no control over is going to happen as indicated by The Tower and I have to embrace this change. The three of cups is telling me to get out and socialise, join groups, get involved in the community to be happy. I have been looking at doing charity work, possibly teaching and perhaps this is the start.
The Question of Fate
Back in December, I offered a photo shoot prize in a raffle at the Alternative Xmas Market hosted by Liverpool Horror Club. The proceeds raised were for the Whitechapel charity in Liverpool. The lucky winner, Heather, got in touch with me before Christmas and we agreed to meet for a coffee in the New Year.
Today I messaged her to arrange a meetup and to my surprise, she works for a local charity and she’s providing a course that she has written to teach positive thinking through art to teenagers who have difficulties, very similar to what I faced. She is also a trained CBT therapist and has had anxiety issues and it’s remarkable that what turned out to be a photo shoot could be the start of my new journey. Heather is doing what I’ve been thinking of doing and we relate to each other so well. IS THIS FATE?
Following our lengthy chat this morning, I did a personal three card spread that represents my personal feelings, yesterday’s feelings and today’s. The card drawn for today was the THREE OF CUPS!
Only time will tell how this year will go for me, but I’m already full of hope for my future journey and most definitely on the cards is a very special horror photo shoot. Stay tuned!